What legacy will you leave your children?

My next book is about a little boy who loses his mum, and how it affects him as well as everyone else around him, whether it's his dad, grandad or extended family, teachers, friends or neighbours.

There's a line in it when his aunt turns to his cousins and reminds them that losing a parent as a young child is a huge thing and that they'll need to be there for him, not just then, but for a long time to come.

But thinking about death got me thinking about what legacy you leave behind for your children when you die.

I LOVE nature and being outside. I'd much rather spend a day outside than a day in the pub. If there's live music, good food, and gorgeous friends, I could probably stretch it to a day. But if it was a toss up between the pub or a day at the beach, or on top of a high mountain somewhere, nature would win hands down every time.

As toddlers, I'd dress my kids up in all-in-one wetsuits so they could spend the day jumping in and out of puddles. They'd collect stones like they were treasure and sticks like they were fearsome weapons and they'd happily dive into heaps of golden autumn leaves if the pile was large enough.

We'd stop to stroke every dog that we passed (we still do!) and chat to their owners. We'd lie back on the grass and spot shapes in the clouds. And we'd stop to take photos in fields full of flowers.

As they've got older though, they tend to moan more about going for a walk, so then I think maybe none of my love of nature has been passed on.

But - the other day after we'd gone out paddle boarding, we stopped in a meadow near us to have a bit of a break. Without being prompted, my daughter asked to borrow a mobile phone so she could lie down amongst the buttercups to take a photo (which was when she took a photo of the insect above). That was after she'd spent a minute flattening a small patch of grass she'd created as her 'den', where she could take photographs from.

Which made me very happy.

Because it made me realise that all the things that are important to you as a parent, do sink into your children's subconscious minds. As parents, you help to shape your children from the second they are born.

Children are all individuals in their own right, and there's nothing to say they have to like the same things that we do. But if you're passionate about something, it's nice to think you might have passed some of that passion on to your kids.

It might not be immediately obvious right now, but in years to come I hope some of my children's fondest memories will be of us out and about, collecting sticks, stopping to look at spider webs and jumping in and out of water, and just... loving nature.

So when you die, it's not just your physical presence they will miss, but the legacy of who you are and everything you've taught them.

So what would I like my legacy to be?

Apart from a love, and respect, for nature, I hope I've given both of mine an insight into determination.

I hope I've shown them to work hard for the things they want, as well as the things they don't.

I hope I've taught them never to give up on their dreams, no matter how old they are, and no matter how much other people might try and put them off.

I hope they'll share my love of people and all of life's stories.

I hope I've taught them empathy - not just for the people within their sphere, but for anyone, anywhere in the world, who needs their understanding.

I want them to value - really value - kindness. And to see the beauty in a pair of kind eyes.

I want them to have a curiosity for life.

And whilst I can't afford to do a lot of travelling right now, one of my most favourite things in the whole wide world ever is travel. To embed myself in another culture, and meet strangers who later become friends.

I hope I've passed on my love of gorgeous food and taught them that food is a sociable thing that's nurturing and for pleasure - and not just a necessity to keep us alive.

I hope I've shown them the importance of friendship, and the value of loyalty.

I hope they know to be there for each other long after I'm gone.

And, I hope I've shown them love, so that long after I've gone they'll remember me looking in their eyes and telling them how beautiful they are. So even in their deepest, darkest moment (because all of us have one of those moments at some point in our life) they'll remember how much I love them. Because, as a parent, that is pretty much the best legacy you can give your child.

The knowledge that they are loved 💖

What would you want your legacy to be?

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