Live Free, Love Strong

One of the reasons I wanted to write my book was to highlight controlling relationships and the damage they cause.

I also wanted to try and show what it's like for kids to get by in that kind of world... and how people sometimes expect them to 'bounce back' from stuff, when it's not always that easy (or that simple).

Controlling people are called 'controlling' for that reason.

They don't think like you and I.

For whatever reason, something in their psyche makes them so deeply insecure that they need to control everything, and everyone around them. And when people don't do what they want them to do, they don't like it. So they react by tightening their grip even tighter.

When I was looking for a survivor of domestic abuse to interview for the back of my book, it took me a long time to find someone who was ok to talk to me.

Partly because of how traumatic it is for survivors to relive what happened to them. But also because, in many cases, the controlling person in their life has not allowed them to move on. Even after their split, they try to control things in their life. It's what controlling people do.

They also don't like other people to know just how controlling they are and will do their utmost to try and cover it up. But if someone is like that, they can't help but unravel in the end. In the end all of us show our real colours to the world.

For me, one of the most important things I think I have learnt in life is that it's important not to let all the things that have happened to you turn you cynical or bitter, or closed off to opportunities and people. I think it helps if you can keep a sense of humour about you (particularly a dark one, the darker the better!) Because having special people in your life to love - be it a partner, family or friends (or all three if you're lucky!) - is important. And if you close yourself off to all of that because of stuff that's happened to you in the past, it's you that suffers. No-one else.

It's important to live freely, and keep the love burning deep in your heart.

So today I am sharing my life mantra with you

LIVE FREE. LOVE STRONG.

Which as it goes feels right in a field of bright red poppies, blowing free in the wind. Like us, free spirits if we allow ourselves to be...

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