Is It Life - Or Us - That Takes Us Where We Need To Be?

When my kids were babies, I couldn't wait for them to start talking just to find out what they'd sound like and what they were thinking.

Now they're older, I'm fascinated by what they'll do when they grow up.

And it's not me being a Tiger Mum, I promise.

I'm just curious to see if you can tell this early on or not.

I knew from when I was six that all I ever really wanted to be was a writer. So for me, it's only ever been clear cut.

Which is probably the same for my daughter.

Obsessed with animals from a baby, when she was five years old she lay down next to my mum's very old Labrador for an hour, stroking his head, just so she could be with him, as he wasn't really walking much at that stage (he died a week later, so it was almost like her presence revived him for a bit).

She also happens to be an amazing writer (something all her teachers comment about all the time). Plus she's really good at drawing.

When the time comes for her to choose what she wants to do, it will be totally up to her what she does. But right now, some of the more obvious choices would be a Zoologist or an Author that writes about animals. Or maybe she could work for a rescue centre, an animal charity or a zoo.

My son, on the other hand, is a little less clear cut. Not much, but a bit. He's sensitive, thoughtful and kind, but for an empath he's also very practical and business minded too, so when I imagine him working, I think of him developing the business/strategy side of a charity or some kind of business with an altruistic bent.

But even though I want my kids to choose for themselves what they want to do, I still want to help them have as many different experiences in life, and meetings with as many different people as possible, so that when the time comes for them to choose what they want to do, they'll know they've chosen the thing that's right for them.

But here's the thing...

My son is like a lot of boys, he doesn't really like reading that much.

He did at one point. But then his primary school made him read lots of simpler, easier books so they could record the regular tests required of them by the Government, and suddenly there was no more Harry Potter... and he ended up losing his love of reading.

Boys also need to see the practical reasons for doing things too, so they don't always see the importance of reading.

But for me, a good vocabulary stands you in good stead for all the potentially arrogant people of the world who try to put less educated people down by trying to outsmart them with their use of words (and I'm sorry, but 'smart' comes in many forms, not just academic).

I want both my children to feel like everyone's equal. Not arrogant, but unable to be outsmarted by someone who thinks using big words and phrases demonstrates that they are cleverer than them.

When I say my son doesn't like reading, he does read business books (he can see the practical reason for those, as he wants to run his own business one day). And he reads at school - but a lot of the books that are on the school curriculum now seem hugely outdated to today's streetwise, modern kids.

So to help him, I've been pinning up words - with an example of how they are used - on a piece of paper on the toilet wall (everyone has time to read when they're on the loo, right?! ;-)

In case you're interested this week's words are Visceral and Incandescent, and one day I will write that I'm incadescent with rage! (even if I'm not).

But I hope that this tiny little gesture will help both my kids when they are older, so that they can stand up to anyone who wants to give them a hard time, so that they win with grace and eloquence as opposed to force and arrogance.

Here's another thing though...

I've just started reading Douglas Stuart's Shuggie Bain, winner of the 2020 Booker Prize. The book is glorious in its descriptions and use of words, and I regularly have to look up the odd word or two and what it means (and I don't mean the Scottish dialect here, 'cause for the record I used to date a Glaswegian, so I ken what ken means, if you ken what I mean).

Stuart's clearly incredibly intelligent but also brilliant at immersing you straight into the world he's describing (the evening when Agnes and her friends are gambling against each other with pennies just to take themselves away from the depressing reality of their lives... it's just brilliant).

But despite his fantastic use of words - Stuart - the 2020 winner of the prestigious Booker Prize - grew up in a house without any books.

He wanted to study English Literature but because it wasn't the done thing for a male to be doing where he grew up, he ended up going into fashion design, taking his time to write his debut novel over many years... using any spare snippet of time he had to write (there's hope for me yet!)

So based on Stuart's story, does this mean I should just chill out and trust that my kids will naturally gravitate to where they should be and what they should be doing?

Or is it my job as their mum to try and expose them to as many different people, and life experiences, as possible to help them decide?

Or - like the winner of last year's Booker Prize - can I trust that life (and their passions) will take them where they need to be?

What do you think?

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