How do people do it?!!

I normally just blog about what I'm writing about, but maybe like G says, it's time to talk about me a bit, so people get to know 'me' a bit better.

So today I just want to throw it out there. The age-old question that several million other people around the world must ask every day....

How Do People Do It?!!

Why do some people achieve their dreams, and others don't? How do some people make it happen for themselves, and others don't?

Honestly?

I'm a firm believer that if you work hard enough for something, so long as you love it - and have a talent for it - you'll get there eventually. I lived in LA for a couple of years and pretty much everyone out there is a 'writer'. But you'd be surprised how many people called themselves a writer, without actually have written anything at all. So the fact I have a book that I've written all by myself without any help, I hope is proof enough of how much I want this.

I started my career as a journalist, and have worked in telly, and other forms of communication, but these days aren't doing anything along those lines, mainly because I need to do a job where I am around for my kids.

But my one constant head**ck (I know I keep saying I don't normally swear that much but sometimes the odd swear word helps) is lack of time!

Just after I split up from my ex, I went for a job with a local advertising company, thinking my media background would be a good fit. But when I got there I found out there was lots of travel involved, which hadn't been in the job spec, otherwise I'd never have gone for the role. So of course, I had to turn it down. But what did my head in was the lady who owned the company told me all about how she understood what it was like to be a single parent because she was one, and how she had managed to set up her agency all by herself even though she was a single mum. But, she kind of missed the point, because when she talked about how she'd done it, it was because her mum had looked after her child all week allowing her to do it. At which point, I'd wanted to say, 'of course you managed to do it, and you should be proud of the fact you did, but you only managed to do it because you had someone in your life helping you make that possible.' It made me feel like she was doing a bit of a disservice to single parents by telling that story because let's face it, the biggest challenge of all as a parent is childcare. All of us could achieve anything we wanted to with the right skills and determination but also IF we have the support of someone helping us with all the logistics. Because let's face it, in any couple there is always someone in the partnership who has to sacrifice a bit more to help the other one achieve success. It's rare that both parents can continue to climb the career ladder without some extra help somewhere to allow them to do that - whether it be hands-on grandparents or a nanny.

I'm not moaning about stuff, I'm really not. I'm just trying to explain how working full-time, as a single parent, just makes it so much trickier to achieve your dreams. It doesn't make it impossible, it's just that bit harder.

Anything I do, I have to do late at night. Which is what I've done. But every so now and then you burn out, and have to stop and rest for a while (which is a good thing, but frustrating when you're impatient like me and know what you want to do, and hate having to wait for it!)

Anyway, I've just completed a meditation course (I love meditation, it feels amazing) and have taken time out for a bit. What means I haven't written my blog for a bit. But I can feel my mojo kicking back in.

Now what I need to do is refocus on getting my book out there. And I also need to start writing to agents. Because let's face it. No-one can go it alone in any industry.

So at some point in the next few weeks, I'll be writing to agents, and trying not to get too disheartened with the rejections. But actually, weirdly, my skin is quite tough having worked in telly, so I'm just going to keep going.

But - and here's the good bit - the biggest thing of all I need to keep reminding myself of is the fact that success can come at any time in your life.

And by success, I don't mean I care about the 'trappings' of life. I don't. I just want someone to buy the rights to my book so that I can become a working writer, so that I can start on the million other projects I have had to park for now but am desperate to write.

Something we all tend to fight against is the sense that in order to be a success in life it has to happen when you are really young. But I know from my time as a journalist and working in TV, that success can come at any age. The media - and maybe society a little bit too - seem to like to portray success as a young person's thing. But I'm really glad I've travelled, as well as worked in the media, because both of these things have proved just how untrue that is.

I went backpacking in my late 20s and made a point of not watching any TV or news for the whole year I was away. Of course, I watched the headlines. But I wasn't obsessing about having to watch anything in any great detail. And what that actually does is take away all the subconscious influences and expectations you aren't even aware you are even putting on yourself. It gives you freedom of thought and stops you thinking about things you SHOULD be doing. Or more to the point, things you THINK you should be doing. And it allows you to just be.

I've always known I wanted to be a writer. But whilst I was travelling around New Zealand, just having fun and meeting new people and not even thinking about work, I had a burst of inspiration about something else I would like to do with my life (which I hadn't even thought of up to that point). But that's what happens when you're relaxing and not overthinking or stressing about things, the way life gets you doing sometimes.

The other thing that keeps me reaching for my dreams is the direct knowledge (from people I have already met who have had the experience to know this is true) that success can come at any age. Yes, it would be wonderful if everyone achieved their dreams in their 20s, so they could spend their entire life doing the thing they love the most. But maybe life experience is more important and in the long run will make them a better boss, a better teacher, a better writer.

Two people stick in my mind when I think about this.

The first was actor Buster Merryfield, who I interviewed when he brought out his autobiography DURING THE WAR (his catchphrase in Only Fools and Horses). He'd always wanted to be an actor, but his family told him he needed to get a 'sensible job', so he went to work in a bank, and ended his career as a bank manager. But he never gave up on his big dream and after retiring from banking, went on to land one of the most high-profile acting roles ever, as Uncle Albert in Only Fools and Horses, and died doing what he loved the most.

Which is pretty amazing when you think about it.

The other person I think of, when I have to keep reminding myself to keep shooting for my dreams, is a lady who wasn't famous, but who was someone who had lived a really interesting life. I still remember her name... Eileen Heightman. I was working as a local journalist at the time and went out to interview Eileen because her family had bought her a hot air balloon ride for her 80th. But when I started chatting to her, it turns out she had always dreamed of being a journalist. She'd grown up in the wrong era though and it wasn't something she'd been encouraged, as a woman, to pursue. So she got married, which was expected of her, but after she got divorced, she started taking students as lodgers from the local university. Which made her young-minded and interesting. And then after she retired (here comes the good bit) she decided to follow another of her dreams - to travel. So aged 64, she went backpacking for the first time (how cool is that?). When she arrived in Australia, with her bodyclock all out of sync, she had curry for breakfast (again, how cool is that?) and then taught herself to surf (even cooler!). She loved it so much she decided to go backpacking again aged 68.

Which just goes to show, you're never too old to achieve your dreams.

So I keep reminding myself. I know I want to spend the rest of my life writing. And I know I'm not there yet. But if it takes me another year or two, yes, I'll be super frustrated (that's me, impatience is my worst quality) but if I make it, it will mean even more to me.

I'll write forever. And I'll travel. And I'll meet, and interview lots of people. And I know that will all make me super happy.

But in the meantime, I just need to keep going, knowing that dreams can come true at any age.

I just need to keep believing.