Follow Your Passion

I wanted to call my blog -

Follow Your Passion and don't let any fucker tell you that you can't do something.

But I thought I'd at least start my blog on a clean note, before slipping into my first profanity.

If you've read any of my other blogs or writing though, you'll know I don't usually swear. There's lots of swearing in my book, but that's because the subject matter required it.

But like my friend says (she's an English teacher by the way so she's good with words), sometimes only a profanity will do. Sometimes a swear word is the only way to express the strength of feeling behind what it is you want to say.

Can you imagine how liberating it would be for the President of the United States, or the UK's Prime Minister, to include the odd swear word in one of their speeches? Boris Johnson talking about how mad (crazy/stressful) his first year in office has been in the midst of a global pandemic, and if that wasn't enough, Brexit too...

And how about Biden? I'm pretty sure he's wanted to use the odd swear word or two over the past few months after the kind of behaviour he's seen, or had to deal with (Don't worry, I won't go there).

But why this strength of feeling from my end?

Well, because ever since I was six years old, I have absolutely, categorically, without-a-shadow-of-a-doubt known that I wanted to be a writer. I've done lots of things that counted along the way, but despite all that I've lost count of the number of times people have told me I couldn't/shouldn't/wouldn't be a writer.

I mean, who says that to someone for f*ck's sake?!!

Some of them have been people who really should have known better. People who should have had my back, but didn't. They weren't just saying it in a way to help me manage my dreams, they were saying it in a way to actually try and crush them.

Then there's the people, who don't even know you and haven't even read your work, who like to ask you why you think you could ever be a writer. Fair enough, have an opinion. But you only know how good someone's writing is if you read it, so why write anyone off until you've seen what they're capable of?

I'll never understand that kind of thinking because I just don't think that way. If anything, I hope I'm an enabler, not a crusher.

If my kids turn round and tell me they want to be an astronaut, or an actor, or the President of the United States (can UK citizens become President of the United States? I'm going to have to google that...), then I will do everything in my power to help them get there.

Sure, I'd give them a bit of a reality check. And if I thought they were just saying it and not putting the effort in, I would call them on it. But really, I don't think you have to call anyone out. Because you can see how much someone wants something just by looking at how hard they're prepared to work for it; their determination and the fire in their eyes. I once had a date with someone who told me I came alive when I talked about my writing (which, by the way, made me incredibly happy).

I sound like I'm painting a negative picture of everyone around me. But I promise I'm not.

Because in amongst all those negative voices were my friends who every single day told me I could do it. I swear I drove one of them mad by asking them every time I saw them what 'feeling' they had about my writing and if they could see me making it as a writer. They always told me I could and never once rolled their eyes at me. And I love them for that.

Time - or lack of, to be precise - has always been one of my biggest challenges. What would have taken me a few months has taken me a few years and being as I'm one of the most impatient, hard-on-myself, kind of people ever, it's been tough.

But I'm here.

Thanks to my friends (and lately, G, too, who even though I've only known him a few months, has been so supportive and encouraging, it's been amazing). He's never once questioned why I want to write, not once...

Honestly, I think I would have got there eventually on my own if I'd had to - because the fire in my belly (and the passion for what I do) is too strong to have given up. It just would have taken me even longer than it has already. There was even a point right at the end where I was so close to finishing my book, but I was so scared that I would fail, that I just froze and couldn't do anything for a few months. But I had some counselling with a really good counsellor who got me through the final hurdle, and here I am.

A real life author.

Which takes me to my picture.

I've never wanted a tattoo myself, ever.

I know a very talented tattoo artist who does some mind-blowing work (I'm tagging you in on this Kyle), and G has two that I really love. He designed them himself and they just look really stylised (and good). But tattoos have never really done it for me (personally I'm talking about, not on other people).

Until four years ago.

I truly believe anything's possible in life if you are prepared to work hard enough for it, and want it badly enough. Because after all (like the acknowledgements in the back of my book) there are writers and actors, astronauts and Presidents the whole world over, all doing the jobs that people love to tell you that you can't do.

Which made me think about all the people who'd told me I couldn't/shouldn't/wouldn't make it as a writer. I decided I needed a permanent reminder to never let anyone put me off my dreams again or stop me from achieving my goals, and what better way than to get a tattoo? So, I decided to have FOLLOW YOUR PASSION inked just below my wrist.

I didn't sleep (at all!) the night before because I'm such a scaredy cat. But I really wanted it done because the words meant so much to me. So I drove there the next day (with a friend, for support). Then, when I got there, I tried to write the phrase in my own handwriting for the tattoo artist to sketch (I figured if it was going to mean something to me, it had to be in my own writing) but I was so scared I had to write it out about 30 times because my hand was shaking so much!

But as with all things in my life, I love a little black humour - and once she started sketching it onto my skin, I started to laugh - because I could barely feel it. It was only when it got closer to my wrist that I felt the tiniest of scratching sensations.

Now, though, I have a small tattoo below my wrist that no-one, other than me, can see unless I show them. And every time I flip my wrist over, it just reminds me to keep writing, and not to let anyone try and squash my dreams. Because after all, why should they? (and more to the point, why would anyone want to?!)

Before I go, I'd like to share one of my favourite sayings. It's Chinese apparently and is:

Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.

Which to me sums up everything I've been talking (swearing) about brilliantly.

I've made it. Finally.

I'm a writer (with a million other ideas and books and scripts inside of me, just bursting to get out).

And I've made it thanks to my friends. And lately, G too.

But also because of me, and my passion.

So don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't do something. And always, always-

FOLLOW YOUR PASSION